Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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