i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
