$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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