we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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