so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
