And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
