standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
