when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
