You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
