he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
