Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
