just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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