just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
