we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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