We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
