I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
