My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
