wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
