I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know her cup size but not her name....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize