this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize