are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
