Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
