just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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