Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
