Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
