Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
