the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm at about main and main street
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
