She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just found puke in my bra..
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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