If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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