She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
