cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize