porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
is wine microwaveable?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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