I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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