Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
