So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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