like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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