Soap is not a condiment
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
