Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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