After last night, I could never be a politician.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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