..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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