she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
