i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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