David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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