Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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