Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
