Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize