so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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