i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
