just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
