With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
