I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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