my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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