Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
