This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
