I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
