Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
