So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize