We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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