Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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