So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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