cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
