you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
