Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
