K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He better not be in your backpack
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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