My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
