About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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