how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
