whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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