Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
