I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
