I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
